My Zombie Pandemic
by Temporarilyinsane95
Summary: This isn't the movie. This is my story. So far there are only 5 chapters. Please read all chapters and review. If you like it, favorite it please.
1. Tip 1: If theyre zombies, kill them

Chapter 1

Many fads have been taking place recently. Mostly about

drop dead sexy werewolves and ancient but still hot vampires. We've all read the unrealistic books and saw the fictitious movies. Well those are all fake, and right now, at this very moment, there's something spreading around that's real. It's a virus. Literally nobody is safe as this crisis is international. Very few are alive. Including me. There is only one word to say that describes everything perfectly. Zombies.

This whole undead take over the world crap started almost a year ago. I've been on my own since. I know, right?

How the hell is a 15 year old girl one of the few on Earth? Well I have rules and I follow them. Kind of like the guy on one of my favorite movies "Zombieland".

I lost my family almost right after the virus started to spread. We weren't really close, but I loved them. I was extremely close to one of them. It was my cat. I know I sound like a loser saying that but it's not like there are any humans I can trust. Especially now sense there are all of the possibilities of them snapping my bones and sucking me dry. I still have him too. His name is Pepper. He follows me and listens, almost like a dog. Believe it or not, he's done a few zombie killings himself. It helps a lot to have 3" claws.

I saved him from our house when we escaped from my flesh-craving family. I woke up around midnight only to walk into the living room and find my mother snacking on a neighbor. I freaked. I mean I had to do something. It wasn't my mom anymore. I took a guitar which I had for Guitar Hero and smashed her head in a couple of times. My step dad was already gone. Gone as in completely dead. A man who lived close had shot him twice. Unfortunately, that was the same man who my mother was chewing on like licorice. It sounds gross and it is. I see it just about everyday.

It's hard growing up in a zombie world. No place is what it use to be. Everything is everywhere Zombies. It's kind of nice considering everything is free. I stole a hippy van and stocked up on food, water, clothes, and most important, weapons. A newly teen driving and killing doesn't sound too legit but for now, it's as legit as anything can get at this time.


	2. Tip 2: Take what you can get

I wake up in the back of my van. I look at my handmade calendar on the wall of the inside and check off the previous day. It's been a whole 274 days I've been with only me, myself, and Pepsi. I don't want to complain but I do miss talking to people. I certainly don't miss the commercials on television for Twitter and Facebook status updates. I honestly don't give a rat's ass for what people are doing at every minutes. Not that I've seen any rat's or their asses lately. Yeah, it's been a while.

I notice a horrific odor and that it's coming from me. I haven't changed my clothes in about 3 days. Gross, I know. I don't want to sound tacky and say something else about a rat's ass, but that's how I describe what I smell like. Ugh! I should probably go get some clothes. I mean there's a Walmart six blocks away. I just got to go in a change my garments and most definitely under garments. While I'm at it, I'll get some extra clothes.

So I'm at Walmart now. I'll get a buggy to carry everything in including Pepsi. He looks pretty rough for a cat who constantly sleeps for living.

Just to be safe, I took metal base ball bat. I pushed the buggy to the side to avoid my precious only friend from getting hurt. I took the bat and smashed the glass to make an obnoxiously loud noise. I let out a little giggle as two little girls around the age of seven run after me. They were like mini zombie midgets. Haha. They were wearing little sparkly dresses which were only too cute. They were also blood thirsty and brain hungry. Ick. I could never be a cannibal. I feel really bad that I have to put an end to their already ended life. But I mean seriously, it has to be done. As the petite brunette gets closer, I swing the bat, knocking her head clean off. The red head was a bit further behind but now she's pretty damn close. I get into a batter's position (I've never played a sport in my life), I swing, but I miss, accidentally throwing the bat eight feet behind me. Crap. She sprints and pounces like a cat, but I'm to quick, I was already hold the bat again. This time, I swing lower breaking both her legs. She falls down like a Sumo wrestler. She's not dead yet, so I have to take one more whack, right in the face. Goodbye freaky little girl.

Now that I've taken care of that, I get what I came here for, I grabbed some extra clothes and fixed my hair and had a little snack. As I'm walking back to the van with the overly stocked buggy and Pepsi, I see a hobo. I opened the driver's seat to get the keys to open the back. Stupid me put the keys back in the seat and left the door open when I was about to load the van. The man lunged to the seat and shut the door, leaving me with my cat, a buggy full of clothes, and no van. Really? Is that even fair?

Well now, I need some knew transportation. I looked around the parking lot and had to settle for an Audi a5. It's a ridiculously expensive car. It's so beautiful but cars aren't really my thing. But is it's fast, I guess I'll take it. Like I said, fast and stealth.

I approached the car slowly. The keys were still in the ignition. I checked everywhere to make sure of nothing suspicious. I opened the trunk and found two machetes. Good for chopping. Heh. I relocated them to the back seat with my clothing. Pepsi took his place in the passenger's seat. Smart kitty. I sat in my place and started the car. Something was wrong. I got out and looked under the hood. It was weirdest thing I've ever seen. There were exploded doughnuts everywhere. Haha. I laughed at the odd finding. I scraped all of the dough out, got in the car, started it. It purred along with the cat. I took off to the speed of a roughly 60 mph. Not bad.


	3. Tip 3: Don't Help Everybody

I drove about 5 miles until I realized I was almost out of gas. I had to stop at a gas station. (Obviously)

As I was pumping gas, I looked to my side where one of those huge dumpsters were standing. I looked back to the car as if it was nothing. Which it had seemed. I got done pumping the gas into the car to where it was filled up. Just as I was getting in, I heard a loud thump. It came from the dumpster.

I started to walk towards it, when I heard the thump once again. I hesitated to open it. I stood right in front of it just staring at it. It thumped again. What the hell could it be? I reached out when all of a sudden it popped open. "Are they gone! Don't let them eat me! Please! I'm just a helpless child! Well, not exactly a child. More or less. Just don't let them take me to their cave!".

It was a girl. She was average size much like me but a few inches taller. I was always known to be short. She looked younger though. Around the age of 13. She had baby blue eyes, chubby cheeks, and dramatic blonde curls. I could already tell she was going to annoy me.

"Chill out!" She was holding on to my shoulders tight. Physical contact isn't really what I'm all about. "Let go of me, would ya! Jeez." I was seriously already aggravated.

"Are they gone! Please say yes!", she asked too anxiously.

"The zombies?", I asked. "Yeah, they should be. I haven't seen anything. What are you doing alone anyway! A kid shouldn't be by themselves!"

She replied like a smart ass. "I should say the same shorty. But for your information, I'm an orphan. I didn't even know those people. Nor did I like them. They were way too nice. That's who I was hiding from. They got the…. Disease."

The way she said disease sounded kind of creepy. "Oh. I see. I've been on my own for about a year now. Killing zombies looking out for myself. Which looks to me like something you need brushing up on.", I said. "But I got to get going. My cat is getting hungry."

She started to talk, but what she said was no where near a goodbye, unfortunately. "Hey. I have an idea. Why don't I come with you. Like you said, I need brushing up." My only reply was, "No. No way." She got a bit upset. "Aw. But why not. Come on. I won't annoy you. I won't be a pest or anything." I let out a small chuckle and said, "Really? A bit too late for that promise."

She did the one thing I hate more then spiders. She begged. "Please. Please. Please. Pleeeaasse. Please. Please. Please." I've never hit somebody younger than me, but there was about to be a first time for that.

"SHUT! UP! FINE! You can come! Just shut. Up. Ok?" What have I just done. I should hit myself. She got happy. Crap. "Ok!" Great. This should be so fun. She got in and we took off.


	4. Tip 4: Don't Ask A Bunch Of Questions

As soon as we took off, she started to talk. No surprise there. "So what's your name?", she asked. I replied. "No names. If we know each other's names it will only make a bond. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to live. That includes killing your ass if you turned into one of those irritating rutards."

"You do know that it's retard right?"

"Well I've been by myself long enough to have my own dictionary and make up my own pronunciations for words.", I said.

"Ok? So if no names, then what do I call you?" She just keeps talking and talking. I had no idea what I would be called. It's been so long since anyone has even talked to me. I had to think about it for a bit. I would use the place where I'm from but that would be too much from "Zombieland". I want be original. My favorite color is Silver. I could be known as Silver.

"Silver. It's my favorite color. Call me Silver." "Ok", she said. "Then I guess you can call me Red", she said with the biggest smile on her face. I swear her head was about to split. "I can be like that dad on That 70's Show. Red" I laughed. His name wasn't Red. "You do know his name wasn't Red? It was Rhett. With a "T", NOT a "D"." I said.

We drove in silence for about an hour. I started to relax. It didn't last long.

"So when's your birthday?" Red asked. "December 13th", is what I replied. "But that was like two months ago." What Red said just now, that my birthday had passed, made me think. Had I forgotten my own birthday? So I'm not 15 anymore. I'm officially 16 years old! Yes! I'm 16!

I slammed on the breaks so hard my seatbelt nearly ripped. I jumped out of the car. "What the heck!" Red was so confused. I started to do some kind of spastic dance that I did NOT do well. "Hello! Silver! What are you doing?" I could tell she thought I was crazy. "I'm 16! YES! I'm 16! I lived to be 16! I AM GOD!" I was so excited! I never thought, living in a world of undead, that I would survive to be 16!

"Yeah." Red wasn't as enthusiastic as I clearly was. "You're 16. Yay. Whoopdy freaking doo. I'm 13. Am I suppose to explode and beat my chest while screaming like Tarzan?" I couldn't believe it. Sarcasm was my thing. Damn. An hour with me and I'm already a huge influence. I don't suspect that's a good thing. I admit, just one of me is more than enough.

"Whoa. Becoming like me already? And sorry. I just never believed that I would live to turn 16 with the undead running amuck and whatnot!" I was ecstatic. She would never understand why though. Sucks for her. Haha. I got in the car and turned the ignition. It tried to start but wouldn't. "Are you for real? Come on! Hitting the breaks could NOT have possibly done this." I have officially been damned. "It could have! You didn't hit the breaks either. You SLAMMED on them. You were doing 80 mph too. Plus, when you did the breaks, the car started to smoke and we ALMOST flipped. So yeah. Damage could have been done."

"No!" I was in denial. I couldn't lose a second car. "Crap. Now we have to walk. Red, this all your fault. You just HAD to ask questions."


	5. Tip 5: Don't Complain Aboiut The Food

We walked about a mile when my arms started to tire of carrying Pepsi. I gently set him down, pulled his leash out of my back pocket, and snapped the matching leash onto his sky blue collar.

"You walk your cat? On a leash? A dog leash? For dogs?" Red asked me like it was so unusual. I find it completely normal. I replied with, "It's my cat. I'll walk him with whatever I want to walk him with. Even is it's for a different animal. When you get your own animal, then you can worry about that, but until then, don't worry about my kitty or anybody else's pet." I usually got overly defensive when it came to Pep-pep. Red only silently raised her hands in surrender.

I pulled my phone out of the right front pocket of my Levi's cut off, dark wash shorts. My phone was a touch screen I recently snatched it from an old AT&T shop. I simply placed my old Sims card in the new phone. My phone was a Vu. I stared at my wallpaper which presented a photo of Elijah Wood (The guy that played Frodo in "The Lord of the Rings"). Seeing that picture reminded me of guys. I really miss guys. A lot.

Lost in my thoughts, I was quickly pulled out of my distraction by a small rumbling coming from Red. She let out a dramatized groan. "Sil. I'm so hungry Can we eat? I need to eat. Please? I'm starving. I need food. Where is there food at? Sil!" Red overstates things way too often. "Red! Chillax! You're not going to die! Ok? Besides, there's a small convenient store just right of this upcoming curb." All she did was role her eyes.

As soon as we walked along the curb, we came upon the tiny store. "Wow. It's so….convenient." Red said that while I just looked at her like she was ritard. I quickly captured sight of a hideously yellow and abandoned jeep parked near the entrance of the shop. We ran inside. I grabbed and opened a can of tuna for the fluffy creature beside my feet. I got some milk also and poured it next to the tuna. Sure, most of this stuff has spoiled, but if you were as hungry and without food as we were, then you would have stopped caring too. Pepper sprinted towards the tuna and semi-clumped milk. He was eating so fast, he began to gag. Poor kitty.

I was already done and ready to go due to me only eating a mini muffin and quickly downing a bottle of spring water. I moved down the aisle to find Red staring at something on the rack. A huge individually rapped, vanilla cupcake with chocolate icing and rainbow sprinkles. Of course. I stood beside her.

"You see it too, right?" She asked still staring wide-eyed. "The cupcake? Uh. Yeah." I said it kind of nonchalant because I honestly didn't really care about sweets. "Wonderful." She was still gazing at it with wonder. I took it off the rack and placed the giant, hand-sized cupcake into her hand. She jerked it open and scarfed the whole thing down within 2 minutes.

As soon as I took a glance at Red's pale face, I immediately laughed. She has a white icing beard. She gave me a questioning look. "It's just, your white beard doesn't quite match your golden curls." Even as I was speaking, I still laughed. Red only scoffed and swiped her face clean with a bright green scarf she was wearing. Looking over to check on Pepsi, I see that he was done so I handed him to Red. "Look after him while I go get the ugly vehicle outside."

I strolled out and towards the dreadful, sun yellow, box vehicle. The driver's door was open and the back left window was smashed out. It looked horrible but then again, I never had time to be picky anymore.

I sat in the driver's seat to find the keys on the dashboard. Quickly inserting the key into the ignition, I started the engine. Looking at the screen behind the steering wheel, I saw a full tank of gas. "Lucky", was all I could say.


	6. Tip 6: Be stupid It builds character

The engine was running and purring like an old cat, but smoothly. "Ready, set go", was all I could think. I yelled for Red a few times without a response. I soon saw her come running out towards the vehicle at full speed, freaking out. "Z-. The. They're. What-? Zom-." She could barely speak. I could understand perfectly though what was happening now. A crowd. A stampede. A horde of those stupid cannibals. "Get in. Now!" I was yelling at her. But wait. Where was my partner? My best friend for a year now. He meant everything. "Where's my pet! RED! I have to go get him. Get in the driver's seat and leave the back door open for me!"

Quickly opening the driver's door, I leaped and dashed for the enter door of the store. We weren't parked far, thank god. I was almost there and I could barely hear Red yell, "What the heck, Sil! Are you stupid or something!" I immediately though of Forrest Gump's line, "Stupid is a stupid does." I did know the answer to her question but I was to distracted to insult myself.

I finally got inside after what had seemed like forever and more but was only a fraction of a second. It was a crowd. I'm guessing they didn't see Red scream like a maniac towards the vehicle. Wow. They're must be blind, deaf, and retarded. They saw me and went insane. I automatically knew Pep would be hiding behind the counter. He always hid there if there was a swarm. I started towards the counter, but there were too many. They kept grabbing at me. One grabbed my should. I took her wrist and slung the old, short lady over me. As soon as she landed on her back, still having grasp of her wrist, I placed my converse covered foot diagonally below her chin and kicked her chin forwards. I don't know what it did but she stopped and I heard cracking going on in her neck.

I saw a very small clearing that lead straight to the counter. Hallelujah. I dashed as fast as my short legs could push me. I was always short. I'm newly 16, but I'm only 5'1". I haven't grown in two years. Sometimes it's helpful but in these cases where I have to run fast, it isn't the greatest thing ever. I reached the counter, jumped behind it, grabbed Pepper, jumped back over, and sprinted to the jeep. I jumped in the opening on the left side behind Red after throwing Pep in. "Go!"

I slammed the door and we took off. It's too bad I had the busted out window. As soon as I turned my head left, I saw one of the freak-tards hanging off that window. "Dammit! Where do y'all keep coming from! You make me so mad!" The zombie hanging off the door was a scrawny Indian man wearing a policeman's uniform. His face covered in black and blood with dark green eyes. (All zombies have dark green eyes.) I instantly turned my back against the right side's door, and using all of the force in my legs, I kicked fourth and much as I could, jamming the man's face in and making him fall back onto the cement. He hit pretty hard but I seriously doubt he was dead, or dead from being undead, or whatever it is. I just hope they all burn in hell.

It was about 8:00 PM and Red was driving. If we still had my Volkswagen Van, she would most definitely NOT ever drive it. Red drove really slow and careful. I took this as a sign that she was one of those cautious OCD people. I'm not like that. I'm a bit reckless…obviously.

As I laid down on my back in the back seat, Pepper lied on my stomach. My head was looking up at the stars out of the busted out window. As I lay, all I could think about was…my van. She was my stolen beauty. Worn out but still the best. Stupid hobo. I mean, how the hell does a random hobo even survive zombies! Stupid hobo. Dammit! I HATE street livers! STUPID HOBO! I soon, though, found all of my angry thought slowly drifting away as I entered a deep, and well needed sleep.


End file.
